~The need to create something that I find beautiful and amazing
~The need to be admired
Many aspects of the artworld since the end of World War 2 and the rise of pop art during the time of Andy Warhol and such have become more like forms of entertainment rather than objects to be admired. With the rise of installation pieces and performance art in many ways the nature of art has changed and what drives the artist to create has changed. A performer who I often refer back to from philadelphia, David Darwin, ends many of his acts with an idea. That what he creates isn't necessarily entertainment, but something for people to talk about. That when people see his show it allows them to connect to each other in a way that they might not necessarily be able to do. The role of the performer, the entertainer, becomes incidental to the nature of the entertainment itself.
In this instance what David has done is to share something beautiful and amazing with an audience so that they can appreciate it and talk about it and share in that conversation. When I started juggling and practicing fire performance this is what drove me to become a performer and is the reason that even if I were to travel half the world away and have no one to perform for; I would still make sure that I had a small little bag with juggling equipment (and at this point in my life a deck of cards as well).
However, I have to admit, being admired and praised is one of the biggest drugs that I have ever experienced. I can understand why a comedian keeps coming back, that feeling of being loved and admired; well, it feels good. In fact, it feels incredibly good. The first moment I realized what it felt like I was coming out of a bar in northern philly were my act consisted of (among other things) my fire contact juggling routine. As I was coming out I was stopped and asked for some photos and handshakes. That feeling of being praised was powerful enough to keep me happy for weeks.
When you spend weeks developing a routine and practicing until your sick of it; being praised for it an amazing feeling. I got a chance to meet Daniel Hanson Danson a local "celebrity" sideshow artist. He looked at me and said that in sideshow the only kind of magic a person should do is "comedy" style magic (as well as comedy style sideshow in general). Some people refer to "lowering" your style of performance as playing to the crowd. In modern entertainment this is done frequently by danger, sex, and physical humor (What Danson was referring partially to),
Honestly if you play to the crowd, you are essentially traveling down the same road as so many other performers have done before. The crowds become essentially jaded to this approach and the viewpoint on what entertainment is capable of sinks. Until of course you are reducing art to comedy and tragedy in order to get a rise out of the crowd. It is easy I believe to become a performer who relies on these sorts of styles in order to get that praise and admiration, but it feels and seems like an endless hole in the artistic community (and I think this theory could be applied to other mediums as well).
The only other option then is that love for the performance itself and learning how to meet the crowd half way in terms of what you present. I know that this is the harder way to travel, but I feel it is far more rewarding for society seems to reward novelty and creativity in the community though the community only sees the aspects that sell sexuality, violence, and their cousins.
